Well, let it pass, he thought; April is over, April is over.
There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
by chance i looked back at all the skype chat, since 2010.
now then i see, cute that you call yourself sincere and devoted.
seriously, you gonna have to do better if you think you deserve more.
Trying to hold on that thought.
Say if I send out signals, would anyone catch it?
Hugh Laurie/Gregory House.
First of all, I think I'm enjoying House so much is because,
I really do wish that one day perhaps I can meet someone like him.
Smart, actually a genius, hence gives him the ability to mock anyone cruely, in a rather sensitive way ironically. Life seems more interesting like that.
Also, more importanly, someone who has the ability to look through me at one look.
Forcing me to throw away those bs.
So secondly.
Hugh Laurie as a person.
Funny thing is I think Hugh Laurie is not much different to Greg House, in some sense.
Sorta like, Robert Downey Jr and Tony Stark, similar.
Looking through Hugh Laurie's profile & interviews obviously cannot say much about him as a person,
but somehow I think, I see.
Understood, like that.
So yea.
Finishing his famous quote: Everybody lies, and everybody pays the price.
Was supposed to be writing about 2500 on sustainable hospitality but ended up writing 1500 words in response to a comment in Youtube.
Newly found interest is utterly distracting.
Someone bought up the argument of Pascal's Wager,
saying that you lose nothing if you believe in a non-existence God but lose everything if he existed.
And so I typed down the following response:
I think there's no harm in believing in Christian God should nothing radical was done around that,
but unfortunately it's hardly the case.
There're people who accepts the idea of Christianity because they know the basic teachings of the religion and found that to be good; and they're some of the loviest people I have ever known.
But I have to speculate that they didn't take the bible to be literally true and doesn't make annoying propaganda that should you not believe in God, you're burning in eternity.
It's like for example, let's say I believe in fairies so I did a lot of researches around that,
accepting that it is a man-made entity but found it to be such a beautiful concept anyway.
No much harm can be done even if I'm a fanatic on fairies because there isn't a book that has the potential of influencing me to the extreme.
But substitute fairies with the idea of God, the scenario now is that there is a book that can influence one to the extreme and there're extremist that can really do harm to the world.
So now this book is influencing people because since it's the word of something you so deeply believe in, your mind tells you that it is only the right thing therefore, translating into actions.
It's a simple concept like, I believe that when I'm sick I go see a doctor & that should solve the problem, I will physically do that.
Some people believe that when they're sick they should see a talisman and they will do that.
So back to the book, as a result of people believing in the book, we get suicide bombing, abusing women, genital mutilation and unrighteous killing.
You lose nothing? I wish that is the case, but what is someone that is close to you is at the scene of a suicide bombing?
There's just two kind of evil, one that does bad things and one stands by and let bad things happen. Actually, it's ok if someone choose to do nothing when they see evil, it's just a normal survival instinct.
It's just a matter of self consciousness and courage when it comes to matter like this.
Christopher Hitchens is one of the few people who has the courage to speak it out loud what he thinks is evil, and it happens to be religions which seems to be rather forbidden to talk about for centuries and therefore there're such huge reactions now.
If you die protecting humanity but disbelieving in a God that exists and gets punished by that,
think of the morality of the God and tell me if that's a good thing.
So it's not that you lose nothing, is that you're choosing what you're losing - humanity or yourself.
________________________________________
A more thorough explaination can be found here:
http://www.atheist-community.org/faq/#pascals_wager
I really miss Mr Hitchens and his witty debates.
Faith has got to be the most overrated virtue, as said by Mr Hitchens,
“Faith is the surrender of the mind; it’s the surrender of reason, it’s the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other mammals.”
21其實跟20沒甚麼不同，除了頸上那條鑰匙項鏈吧。
我真的真的很幸運的。
雖然我們家不是模範家庭，也吵也鬧；也會冷戰也互激。
但是我覺得，是那種，你看到對方就馬上覺得安心那種感覺；
你知道在這個時候，這種時期，要覺得自己同於生活並存的那幾率有多低嗎？
我都累了。但我看到他們的時候，我安心地哭了。
有沒有想過如果世界明天末日了你想在哪裡抱著甚麼心態等待結束？
我的理想是，都好。
我不要，就等到結束前一秒才發現我應該在甚麼地方做或說些甚麼。
希望我最後是，微笑著默默地想著：沒關係的，就這樣沒關係的。
沒事的，請知道，生命中的你們，我因為有你們，所以沒有白活。
我本來有很多話要說，但我恍神了（笑）
所以，就醬了。
接下來，我以行動來證明。
xx
Ps. I read your blog too. Update bitch.
沒有甚麼 只是回頭看了從2006開始紀錄下來的東西
我現在真的很慶幸我做了這件事啊 因為啊
我真的漸漸被這社會同化了 我都忘了
最原始的那份快樂原來這麼簡單
最無聊瑣碎的事原來那麼珍貴
是你逼我長大的 卻我也是導火線
我想慢慢回顧
原來從很久很久以前開始 我就是個很不願服輸的人啦 :]
2006年
還真是個強說愁的年齡啊
雖然我清楚記得那張照片是看了某部電影哭過的臉 但現在的我看來卻覺得
你看紫雲 那是張 淚水還沒從你心裡飆出的臉
講到很誇張喔？哈哈 真的 很誇張
2007年
中學畢業了 也是開始失去自我那年
2008年
我學會認清自己 我學會對那些最微薄的東西感到無限地感激
人生真的不欠你甚麼 知足這個概念 很重要
2009年
人生給我上了另一堂很重要的課 教我你並不是一文不值的
只要你相信 野百合也有春天
2010年
即使是昏昏噩噩 即使是自甘墮落 即使是自暴自棄
都不許 放棄希望 都不許有那麼一刻認為 這世界並不美好
2011年
過了4年 終於看清人生輕重 開始要找回自己了
我 一個人 真的很快樂
突然那些長大的原因一幕一幕倒退 歷歷在目
我不會忘記的 事實上 想忘也忘不掉
會變成力量的 希望 已經變成力量了
最後一次 請你 不要自以為你的世界很糟糕
只要你這樣看待了 他就會變成你想的那樣了
你馬的自哀自憐最好是可以有甚麼一番作為
當然如果那是你的選擇 我必定尊重
但對不起 我不淌這渾水
我愛你們 愛我的每個人 ♥
謝謝你們 沒有你們 我甚麼也都不是 這一切努力 也不會有意思
21歲的我決定了
要盡我全力每天 發自內心微笑活著 ：」
我說這個好多好多年了
所以一直以為我是為了甚麼沒去兌現呢？真的 從馬來西亞開始好了
畢業了 就回家 然後明年才開始庸庸碌碌地生活
最近真的好累喔 身心都很累丫
身子大概是因為太久太久沒連續站著8小時 所以沒習慣吧
心理的話 就算了 3個月應該挺快過的
沒關係 我應該做得到甚麼drama都不鳥這一點
對不起啊親愛的你們 我不是不主動聯絡 我只是怕我是自討沒趣
還真想念你們 好好照顧自己唷
快生日了你 :]
我可能不會愛你有好多好多很好聽的歌耶 我怎麼總是會慢人家一步啊
快點update一下目前生活
一句話：忙斃了 作業要求很廣泛 所以實際上不知道該寫些甚麼
要讀的東西很多 不過老實說 我還蠻喜歡的 只是不知不覺會覺得 那我之前那3年在幹嘛
啊對了 social活動確實變多了
但我覺得啊 我原本就是這樣一個人 如果你還記得我中一的樣子 那就是我認識的我
後來的馬紫雲 變得很會自我保護 所以 把自己丟了
丟了3年馬上又到一個人生地不熟的地方 真的不是件甚麼好事
因為 東西丟在哪裡了 只能從那個地方找回來
逃走 治癒的是你當下的心情 那並不是你找的解藥
可是說到社交活動 喝酒唱歌跟不同的人玩玩是挺不錯的
只是 這樣真的可以唱出一段感情嗎？出來玩的人 怎麼會跟你認真？
或許只是我吧 我大概就是要跟某某朝夕相處下日久生情才有辦法認真的
說到這裡 就會有些對不起要講 不過 不會再犯了
寧缺毋濫啊
我說啊 活著多好
從來都沒有看清這個城市 總是匆匆忙忙地路過 或是心思根本不在自己身上
所以 今年其實像第一年一樣 看到了不一樣的場景 還真的不小心會很感動
我不要你跟我說我的世界有甚麼 我應該得到甚麼 又不該承受甚麼
我不要那麼努力討好了 這樣太累了
所以 甚麼狗屁drama 一概不鳥
微笑活著 真好 ♥
I missed my yearly post of reflection & resolution.
I feel that at this age, you actually have less to say about everything.
I think mostly because, you have so much holding inside you you really don't know where to start.
But that's alright, we can take it slowly.
So I have never expected any of these for this 6 months internship.
Can I just say, it's the happiest period of time I felt since I graduate from YSS? It's not even exaggerating, it's just a fact that I haven't been able to say it out loud, or perhaps I'm just afraid that I'm gonna jinx it. But since 2011 is over and nobody is gonna take away these 6 months of memories from me, I'm just gonna let myself go.
Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes they're memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
How can you, just come along and make me feel all alive again?
I really really appreciate that, you have no idea how grateful I felt towards you.
Who am I to deserve, wonderful people like you?
So I just wanna say, in 2012, in life, you deserve nothing but the best.
2011 is all about the pursue of happiness.
In the past 6 months, 98% of the time, I wake up smilling to myself thinking, what a beautiful thing this is, to be alive. And the 2% of the time? I just forgot to smile.
Finally I think, I found the key.
Being nice to someone doesn't equal to getting the same back in return.
But it is, an investment that you should take, because if not, I will not feel as grateful as I'm now. Once again, people don't live in solitary, we constantly seek out to connect with others so that we can feel alive.
2012, I hope you find the courage in you EB.
♥
